die Autourin (tsuru_san) wrote,
die Autourin
tsuru_san

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Not a fic.

Sooo...I haven't written much Asmodeus/Raphael lately.

There's a reason for that: although I have had a storyline for Asmodeus and Raphael fully plotted out, I'm starting to have second thoughts. Over the past six months, radical feminism (particularly some of the anti-porn stuff) has unexpectedly influenced how I think of these two characters. o__O Kinda came out of left field, I'll admit, but there ya have it. *shrug* Whether this change is a good or a bad thing, I'm not sure. But the point is, I see these characters differently now.

That's hardly new though, especially with Asmodeus. This second wave of A/R I've been writing is fairly different than what I originally came up with in high school. The characters and historical settings have more depth, and Asmodeus and Raphael even look different from their original versions. (I will not post pictures. My drawings from early high school seesawed somewhere between awful and truly hideous, haha. Anyway...) When I redesigned Raphael, it was basically just an appearance overhaul, and he kept pretty much the same personality (although I think he's a little more gutsy these days *grin*).

The Asmodeus I write now though sometimes feels like a different character with the same name. Original Asmodeus was much less of a pervert; in fact he even had a bit of honor. He was...ambiguous evil. And then in the version 1 series ending that I plotted out, he showed mercy to Raphael, admitted he loved him, and kind of redeemed himself. Deep down, he was not completely bad. He was a powerful and dastardly demon, but not actually heartless. (Honestly Asmodeus 1.0 kinda reminds me of a sluttier Crowley from Good Omens, lol.)

Asmodeus 2.0, on the other hand, is truly an evil, evil person. He's selfish and unmerciful and easily the most callous character I've ever written. While he may have some tender feeling, maybe even love, for Raphael, this is totally eclipsed by how much of an asshole he is. Case in point: part of the drabble100 list where he's captured Raphael and basically rapes him. That was never gonna be part of the "official" timeline, but it's totally true to Asmodeus character. Then there are a lot of examples in my unfinished non-AU folder that demonstrate Asmodeus's lack of any moral fiber. One in particular: in 15th century England, Asmodeus captures Raphael's second-in-command, Jeliel, and orders some of his incubi to rape her. This is relevant to a few minor story arcs too, but still.

Another example: Asmodeus's angel wing collection. When Asmodeus manages to capture an angel alive, he'll torture it and then rip its wings off. To preserve the severed wings, he uses some freaky shadow magic. A side effect of the magic is that it drives the wingless angel completely, psychotically insane. (Yes, he did this to Jeliel too.)

He's...a really sick motherfucker.

And now I'm in a bind. On the one hand, I wanted to write a more-or-less well rounded villain who is unrepentantly a villain, and I like Asmodeus that way. But now I find the idea of writing Raphael getting together with evil!Asmodeus rather distasteful. A lot distasteful to be honest. I could change Asmodeus, make him nicer again, but I feel like that cheapens his character somehow. However, if I do write the two characters together as they presently are then it's a betrayal of Raphael's character because there is no way Raphael would ever be Asmodeus's lover after all the shit he's done. Raphael could forgive him (maybe), but they'd never work as a couple. Hence my dilemma.

Fuuuuck.

Ugh, so basically these characters are on the back burner right now until I figure out what to do with them.

The options as I see them...
a) Asmodeus stays the same, and he and Raphael do not end up together.
b) Asmodeus stays the same, and Raphael ends up with someone else. *cough*Michael*coughcough*
c) Asmodeus 1.0 and 2.0 get blended together, the Book of Ages storyline (that's the title of the "canon" fics I've written) gets some major plot overhauling halfway through, and Asmodeus and Raphael end up together.

Not really asking for input or anything (I know I'll figure something out), but this has all been running around my head, driving my muses crazy, and I guess I just wanted to write it all out. *sigh*



Berlin pics will be next! There's also some Nazi photos. I've almoooost finished with 'em!
Tags: biblical fiction, pairing: asmodeus/raphael
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